How to get by in Paris, in no particular order:
1. Always bring an umbrella. Seriously.
2. Ask for the check at restaurants if you're ready to leave or you'll sit there like an idiot for hours
3. Always say "bonjour" when entering any store - and "merci, au revoir" when leaving
4. Don't make eye contact with people for longer than 1 second - people just don't do it
5. Don't cut your salad at a nice restaurant - it's an insult to the chef
6. Don't be an asshole on the metro. i.e. sitting down on the fold down seats in the middle when everyone is crammed in, standing.
7. Always attempt to speak French, or else you will get a dramatic eye roll and rudeness
8. Eat lots of crepes.
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